home : jian :: in between : fanfiction

a season for respite

by Sameshima Shuzumi

He was the last person Henry expected to see, despite it all. All the other kids were taking time off with their families. It was true Henry was still in Shinjuku proper, at the Wild Bunch’s makeshift HQ, but he was with his dad too.

"Jen!"

Henry actually jumped, nearly dislodging Terriermon from his already wobbly perch. "Momantai, it’s just Ryo."

Yes, it was. There was the same garishly orange sweater which concealed his solid physique. The startling blue eyes that took him in, head to toe. "Why are you still here, Jen?"

"What does it look like we’re doing, huh? We’re saving the world!" Of course between Ryo and Terriermon it was impossible to get a word in edgewise. Henry glared at his digimon for the comment, and was met with his usual unrepentant smirk.

"I was about to ask you the same thing...." Henry looked over at Mizuno-san, who was watching them with interest.

A warm hand pressed on his shoulder. Henry was still not used to looking up to talk to Ryo. "You haven’t slept."

"I have."

Ryo knowingly glanced at Terriermon. Henry sighed; naturally the digimon would give him the lie. "C’mon, let’s get out of here."

"But I was helping Mizuno-san..."

With an odd twinkle in his eye, Mizuno-san shook his head. "You kids go ahead! You need a little fun anyway, right?" He laughed, deeply and heartily. Henry had agreed with Terriermon when he’d commented (loudly) that the creator of the Blue Cards had a screw loose. Still, the man was frighteningly perceptive. He already knew Ryo and Henry were seeing each other, when his father hadn’t been told yet.

Henry was unusually determined to tell his father and mother of their relationship. It would probably upset them both, and likely earn odd looks from Rinchei-niisan and Jaarin-neesan. After the battle was over, he would tell them. Ryo had understood immediately. No matter what kind of trouble it brought them, it was a promise. The battle would end. And both he and Ryo would be alive to speak to it.

"I’ll go see what Lopmon and Suzie are doing," Terriermon declared after another glance from Ryo. Honestly, he had to figure out how to escape their mutual plotting. Though it really wasn’t necessarily against him. Henry nodded, feeling Terriermon’s weight launch off his shoulder; he watched the small digimon trot off to the family area.

He followed Ryo through the twisting corridors of the office building. After a few turns Henry didn’t know where he was. Reluctantly he admitted to himself that he was zoning out. He didn’t even notice when the older boy took his hand. Ryo always seemed to know where he was going anyway. It was a trait Henry envied a bit. "...hey, Jen. You really haven’t been sleeping. You have bags under your eyes."

"Aa. I’ll be all right."

Inexplicably Ryo smiled. The thing with Akiyama Ryo’s smiles was that they were usually unexpected and always stunned Henry to the core. His chin tilted up in an almost-smirk but his expression was open and bright. Smiling in the midst of despair. If he’d gone through a fraction of what Ryo had, he’d--- "--burn out, Jen."

"Hmm?"

Ryo laughed, the sound echoing down the hallway. "C’mere, you!" Simultaneously he hugged Henry and pulled him down onto a plush couch.

Henry leaned on his soft sweater. "I still don’t get why you’re here."

"What, you look like someone from Night of the Living Dead and you don’t know why?"

Henry smiled tiredly, enjoying the slow backrub Ryo was giving him. "I thought you were with your dad."

Ryo shrugged. "He knows I’m gonna come home. And if there’s one thing he doesn’t cut corners on, it’s keeping my priorities straight." He hugged him tighter.

Priorities.... A dull warmth spread through Henry. He nestled in despite himself. "...where are we, anyway?"

"Oh, some conference room. Facing Fuji." Away from the D-Reaper, of course. "Uh uh, don’t think so hard. I see you." Strong arms tucked him closer, and at last Henry began to feel the hours of fatigue. "Rest, Jen."

It was a tone of voice which brooked no argument. Besides, it was easy to let his eyes get heavy and to slip into sleep in the circle of Ryo’s embrace.

"... I told him to push the big red button again but he wanted to Bit Knuckle through the elevator shaft!"

"I did not!"

"Did so!"

"Guys, Henry’s sleeping..."

Henry chuckled softly. "Not anymore." He blinked over at the digimon. Monodramon was now trying to turn a rolling chair upside down while Terriermon tried to push him on it, not under it. It was kind of funny to watch Terriermon get as exasperated with the other digimon as Henry got with him.

Ryo’s voice was next to his ear. "Sleep well?"

Henry blinked, finally realizing that he was now comfortably sprawled between Ryo and the couch back. The other boy was reclining, legs up on the cushions and one arm around Henry. "Yeah, I think so," Henry said, feeling his cheeks heat up.

Ryo smiled again, his eyes lidding. That calm gaze made Henry want to relax too. He glanced over at Terriermon, who had managed to direct Monodramon on top of the chair back. His friend understood immediately, and with a giggle and a wave he pushed the office chair around the room and out the door, Monodramon hooting all the way.

"Be careful, guys!" Ryo called. "They’ll probably give some poor programmer a heart attack."

"They’ve been fighting almost non-stop since this started. They should have a little fun." Henry shifted, realizing that as Cyberdramon, Ryo’s digimon had probably been fighting for months. It was an existence Henry still couldn’t comprehend.

"Yeah, well we humans need a break from the fighting too." Ryo ran his hand through Henry’s hair, sighing as each tuft brushed his fingers. Sleepy warmth diffused the weird-but-good feeling Henry was growing more familiar with. He noticed it was nearly dusk, probably time for the impromptu meal at the main room. It was the only time any of the Wild Bunch or the former Hypnos members left their computers, besides to sleep and wash. He should probably go see his dad, Henry thought. Only, he didn’t really want to leave yet...

"You’re thinking too hard again." Ryo grinned, though he let Henry sit up. "I took care of dinner."

"You sure do prepare for everything, Ryo." Henry got up and stretched. Shedding his jacket, he automatically went through a simple form to center his breathing as Ryo laid out the rice cakes and dumplings. Only towards the end did he notice how he was distracting Ryo. Another weird-but-good feeling.

Ryo pulled up a chair, splitting the disposable chopsticks and laying them next to Henry’s plate, on the left side. "I do a lot of preparing for the unexpected. The expected’s not so hard."

They ate in silence for a while. It was nice, Henry had to admit. They were far enough away from the rest of the group to have some privacy. Henry and Terriermon were the last "experimental sample" in the vicinity, so their attention was almost constantly needed. Henry missed being able to blend into a room full of adults, observing instead of acting. It was the only environment where he really could blend in completely. He sighed at that. Those days were probably gone; everyone would recognize him now.

On the other hand it was odd to have the attention of his family. There had always been Rinchei and Jaarin, and then Shuichon to compete with. His older brother and sister excelled at sports and school, and left the computer stuff to their father and little brother. He was so different at home, sometimes. He interrupted, he argued, he teased and butted in. You just had to be loud to be heard at all. Now when he spoke, a hush would fall over the table. Rin’ and Jarrie had visited a couple of times since the programming team had relocated to the building. Henry could still feel the weight of their gazes, so full of respect and awe. It was just weird. He wasn’t sure if it was good... but he didn’t think it was going to change anytime soon.

He looked up to see Ryo watching him. This was definitely a good feeling. Ryo winked at him, lips twisting up fondly. It occurred to Henry that he should apologize for being so quiet, after he’d gone through all the trouble to get this time away. Ryo wouldn’t accept it, though. It was definitely odd to think that someone would be so focused on him that even long silences were worth observing.

"Two yen for your thoughts?"

Henry shrugged. "Selfish stuff... how things have changed in my family." Ryo raised a brow at ‘selfish’, but it was true. Ryo had hardly any family to get attention from, and his dad barely tolerated Monodramon. On the streets, he was mobbed by dozens of anonymous people who wanted to get a piece of the legendary tamer. "And how nice it is to get away for a while."

"I knew you’d come around."

Henry laughed. "Yeah, my mom always said I’m as stubborn as my dad. Really, it’s nice. Thanks."

Ryo studied him for a moment. "But?"

He blinked. "Ah..."

Ryo gently dislodged his hand from his D-Arc. Henry hadn’t noticed how hard he was gripping it. "It’s getting harder and harder to sit around without fighting, isn’t it."

Henry sighed, nodding. Ryo was speaking for himself too. On the other side of the building, and all over the world, the bubble of chaos was spreading. It was already doing horrible things to the digital world. "It must have been hard to see all that destruction on Grani’s recording."

Ryo turned his face. For a moment Henry thought he’d said the wrong thing. "I’ve seen it on the edge a lot of times," Ryo said quietly. "But never so decimated, like this."

"...Ryo? You downloaded all the recordings, didn’t you."

He turned back to Henry, a little sheepish. "Yeah, I did."

Henry touched Ryo’s sleeve. "You really got to love that place."

"In a way." Ryo twined his fingers with Henry’s, his eyes unusually distant. "It was lonely and unfeeling, at times. And constantly holding Cyberdramon back was pretty draining. But I’m kind of its protector."

Something in his pensive gaze piqued Henry’s curiosity. Not I acted as its protector. Ryo had said I am its protector. "You’re... supposed to be? Or you chose to be?"

Ryo pushed his plate away, scooting his chair closer. "Jen, you watched the TV shows, didn’t you?"

"A little. Mostly I got into the games."

There was a flash in Ryo’s eyes. Wild hope? Fear? "Do you remember much about them?"

"Not really. It was a long time ago, and I haven’t played them in a long time. Where are you going with this, Ryo?"

"... do you believe in destiny?"

It was the last thing Henry expected to hear. "Destiny? I guess... in a way. I don’t think people are destined to be good or evil. But I do think we’ve all got a certain path to walk. How we do it is up to us." A hundred thoughts raced through his mind, and were put to rest as he waited for Ryo to explain.

Ryo’s hand was very warm, and starting to moisten. But the blue eyes that looked up at Henry were anything but nervous. "The place where I’m from, digimon are different. They are destined to have a human partner."

"It’s kind of like us, isn’t it? There was something Shibumi, I mean, Mizuno-san said. Maybe I was created for Terriermon instead of the other way around." Henry stopped. His hand gripped Ryo’s tight, his grey eyes widening. "What do you mean, ‘where you’re from’?"

Ryo took a deep breath. "This’ll sound like a bad movie, but I’m not from this dimension."

"You... but... you have digimon where you are?" It was something to latch on to. It was something that made sense. Nothing else was.

"Yeah, there were digimon there. In fact, they had them in games, just like here. And I got sucked into one. At least, that’s what Gennai told me. I don’t really remember."

Henry was up like a shot. The rolling chair he was on bumped the table and slid across the floor. "You’re crazy! Gennai’s not real!" Henry shook his head, turning away. Great, I just insulted him. That hadn’t even made any sense; just a few months ago, digimon hadn’t been real.

Yet there was no trace of hurt in Ryo’s voice. "No, he’s not. Not in this world. He’s just a character, here." Softer, "He was like a grandfather to me."

Henry stared at the floor. "So... what does that make you?"

"Same person I always was. Akiyama Ryo, legendary digimon tamer. There’s just a lot more legend behind it than what’s commonly known." Hesitantly, Ryo rose and stood close to Henry. "When I first got here, I found there was this memory block about events of the television shows and the games. Even on the Internet, where there are pictures of me when I was ten or eleven." My age. This is crazy! "No one seems to be able to connect it back to me. I haven’t even changed my name, if what these websites and Gennai said are true."

Henry tried to clear his breathing again. Ryo was a warm, silent presence at his back. Henry really wasn’t sure why he was so bothered by the news. He’d heard stranger rumors about the ‘legendary tamer’. By now it had to be par for the course. And there was no reason for Ryo to lie about this. "You don’t remember either?"

"Not really." Ryo pulled at his hand, and Henry let him take it. "I remember people and digimon, sort of. Enough to know what Gennai said wasn’t a false memory. I don’t remember my real parents or my home, though I do know it’s in Sapporo."

That sent pangs through Henry’s heart. He turned and wrapped his arms around Ryo. "But not this Sapporo?"

"I, uh, actually don’t know. I’m not sure if this is the same place where I started. Even then I’ve been gone so long and aged so little, and my parents probably think I’m dead."

Henry found his rhythm again, pressed close to Ryo. The room fell silent except for their breaths. Belatedly Henry realized that Ryo made the silences comfortable; he waited until Henry’s thoughts were gathered and he was ready to speak. In the field, in a fight, Ryo always had something to say. It was one of those strange concessions which seemed out of place for the rambunctious young man.

As for Henry’s thoughts, they were in a jumble. How could a boy grow up without a family? Without memories of his family? Did he belong in their universe? If he didn’t, why was he here? And will he stay?

"Destiny’s not just a word to you, is it."

Ryo relaxed. Henry hadn’t noticed how tense and expectant he’d been till then. "It’s the reason for my existence, Jen. You know, even in the world I’m from, I don’t have a real digimon partner. Cyberdramon is... close to it, but not quite. I only have what I do, and that’s to protect the digital world."

Henry looked up at him. "Is that why you were able to biomerge, even without Dobermon’s gift? And how you found your way to the digital world?"

"... I think so. Cyberdramon actually remembers a lot more than me, so we figured all that out together. It doesn’t bother me anymore when I take exception to reality."

"Are you?" Henry sat down again, pulling his feet up.

"Am I what?" After a moment, Ryo hopped up on the conference table and pulled Henry’s chair over so he could be closer.

"Are you an exception to reality?" Do you belong here? Tell me you do. Tell me you’ll stay. We promised each other.

Ryo’s hand was tousling his hair again. He liked to play with it a lot. "Reality’s a shifty thing. I mean, look at Guilmon. Takato dreamed him up and some wish gnomes made him real. Who knows, maybe we’re all a game or a show or a book someplace. I don’t think it’s for us to know. You’re right about that... just gotta make do with the destiny you have." He sighed as Henry leaned his head on his lap. "Mine happens to be more fluid than most. But that doesn’t matter. Wherever I was, I made it my home. And I’m here now."

Here to fight. Again. Nerves of steel indeed, your soul must be armor-plated by now. At least I was able to change my destiny. I did not want to become a killer. But that’s the path you are on. That must be so lonely. Henry slowly unfolded his legs, curling an arm around Ryo’s dangling ankle. His eyes were lidding when he said, "You like to touch my hair."

Ryo paused. It almost seemed like he’d been caught at something, though he’d been attracted to Henry’s spiky mop from the start. "Yeah, Jen."

Henry tilted his head and looked at him sidewise. "What is it?"

To his surprise, the older boy blushed. "Uh, well, I didn’t forget everyone I met in the other dimensions."

"Tell me."

Ryo sighed. "There’s not much to tell. I was friends with this kid and his little brother. They were both really smart, and they were into games as much as I am. I think... but I’m not sure... that I was in love with him. And, well," he smiled wryly. "He had the biggest mess of indigo hair. It was spiky and it stuck up all over the place. Don’t worry, yours is much nicer."

Henry laughed softly.

"It’s kinda sad, though... I think the kid died. I don’t remember what happened, but I know it was a terrible, sudden thing. It feels like a hammerblow to my chest, when I think about him." Ryo gazed down at the grey eyes now looking up with deep compassion. "It kinda itches at me that I can’t remember his name. I know it begins with an ‘O’... Otaru, Osamu, Osano, something like that. But I do remember his little brother-- Ken. Sweet little guy. I remember that he saved my life somehow, at his own expense. But I never did find out what happened to him. I think I had to leave again."

Slowly Henry pulled himself up. Leaning on the table, he pressed close to Ryo, hands on either side of him. His brow was creased and the line of his mouth was quite serious. "You’re not going to leave again, are you?"

Ryo met his gaze evenly. "I can’t promise that. But I’ll only leave if I know I can get back. And whatever happens, I won’t forget you."

"Hai. Of course." Henry kissed his lips. "Because we’re coming back from this battle."

"Yes, we are," Ryo said firmly. He slid off the table and they pressed close to each other, Ryo taller and broad-shouldered, Henry thin and sinewy. "There’s a time for everything. We’ll have our time for peace, I promise you, Jen."

"We’d better. I want you to know what it’s like to not fight all the time."

Ryo hugged him tight. "I had a few months when I first got to this world, y’know."

"But we weren’t together, then." Henry pulled back a little to look at Ryo. "...hey. Wait a minute. Ryo, how old are you exactly?"

"Ah... I’m not sure," he admitted.

Henry nudged him and did his best to look annoyed. "I do remember something about the TV show and how the passage of time’s not the same. I thought you said you were fourteen!"

Ryo scratched his head. "Physically I am fourteen. But it’s probably a little more than that, subjectively. Maa, don’t be mad, Jen."

Henry shook his head, chuckling. "I’m not. Just wondering if you have a habit of robbing the cradle."

"Hey, that’s not fair," Ryo laughed.

Maybe the touchiness was catching. With a grin, Henry sneaked down and tickled for all he was worth. A guffaw exploded out of Ryo, for a moment breathtakingly childlike, his head thrown back and his hands fending off. The retaliation took only a second to materialize; Ryo tackled Henry on the couch, where the two wrestled for ticklish spots.

It was a joy to grapple and laugh, free of shadows and war, unafraid of hurting each other. Henry might have been smaller, but he was quicker. And Ryo was just as creative as ever, if sillier than usual.

Three inexhaustible giggling fits later, they were a jumble of arms and limbs. Henry was still grinning. A few chuckles escaped Ryo now and then.

They would have to get up in less than an hour for the bedtime rollcall at the family area. Ryo would probably leave early the next morning for the drive to one of the last safe airports in the city. When next they met, if they met again, it might well be for the final battle.

But now was not the time for that.

At last, a silence they could share. A deep, heartfelt kiss. Unexpected and good, like most everything else that night.

OWARI

fanfic : fanart : items : links

ai in love :: zai in existence :: ren in himself :: jian in between

"Red for Pleasure" and "ai zai" copyright © 2002 Sameshima Shuzumi. HTML and layout are produced by me. Content belongs to me and respective owners. Some graphics by Ushikai. Large portion of graphics and content from LELOLA.
"Digimon" is a registered trademark of Bandai, copyright © Akiyoshi Hongo and Toei Animation, and produced and distributed by Fox Kids, Disney / ABC, and Saban Entertainment. This site is for entertainment purposes only.